June 5 was the day that:
- I was called to the hospital at 1:30 am.
- I walked into CCMU to find a crash cart outside my husband's room.
- I felt the world falling apart.
- Ryan told me he just wanted to sleep, he didn't feel up to fighting right now.
- Ryan was given medicine to help him rest, with the hope that in 3 or 4 days he would be feeling better.
- Ryan was again placed on "hold".
- I began to really realize things might not work out as "planned".
- I was told I needed to decide what life saving measures I wanted to be carried out.
- I forgot how to breathe.
- I was advised to let Ryan go.
- I decided it was our turn to give someone else a chance at a new life.
- I had to call people who loved us to share devastating news and ask for prayers of strength.
- I had to begin to say good-bye.
June 5, 2008 will always be the day that changed my life. The day when I had to let go of my hopes, my dreams, my future, my husband. It was the day that I had to truly start clinging to Jesus -- without Him, I would not have endured the past 365 days.
10 comments:
praying for you these next couple days. You are an amazing woman who has shown the world what a true Christian is!
I am thinking of you over the next days and hope that you are surrounded by people who love you and can share wonderful happy memories of Ryan with you.
Praying for you over these difficult days. I cannot imagine the pain you have endured. Sending lots of hugs to you, and the kiddos!
oh kristin, you {+ your children} are in my heart today more than ever. and you will continue to be over the next few days as you navigate these difficult waters. sending you hugs + offering up prayers for peace + strength.
Love you and you know where to find me if you need me. Praying consistently for the steneght that only our Savior can provide.
Kristen,
while as you say, thigns did not work out as "planned", your openness about your grief and life without Ryan as well as your testimony about God's work in your life continues to bless me and draw me closer to Him. I'm crying with you today and praying hard for you.
I have stopped by and read your blog a few times in the past but I have never commented. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am so glad you have Jesus to cling to. I am praying for you.
Kristin,
Stop by and read often, pray frequently for you, but rarely comment. As you finish your "firsts" know that you are covered in God's grace.
Karin
Psalm 63:7-8 "...for You have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me."
Love you.
you made it, girl...it's done, this horrible, terrible year of firsts is finished. it's 1:30 and i'm thinking of you at the cemetary (sorry i missed it...sick). please know that you are being SURROUNDED in prayers. my heart aches for yours. tomorrow is a new beginning...
Post a Comment