Reality is...
...being a widow
...being a single parent
...loneliness
That is my reality.
What will I do with it? How will it change me? Will I grow and learn from my reality or will I sit here and whine and feel sorry for myself?
God must have heard my cries of loneliness yesterday and decided to make Himself be heard in my life today. Two different times today, God has told me that He is here. That He is taking care of me. That I need to let go of my expectations for my life and allow Him to work in me.
As I was doing my bible study this morning, I read the following words from Beth Moore in John: 90 Days with the Beloved Disciple (pp.67 & 68):
"If He (Christ) gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work....I truly believe that if we're willing to see, God uses every difficulty and every assignment to confide deep things to us, and that the lessons are not complete until their beauty has been revealed. I fear, however, that we have such attention deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty was just around the corner."
WOW! Okay, God, I am listening. I know you are teaching me, now please help me learn.
I then headed to church. I love my church. I love the people. I love the music. I love the teaching. Over the last year, I have felt that God has used every message to speak to me and today was no different. The sermon title was "The Great Wall of Reality." Our pastor started off by saying: "your present reality can be used to accomplish God's ultimate purpose." He went on to talk about King David and the struggles he faced before actually reaching the throne. How God used the circumstances of his life to make him a better king. How we need to take the realities of our lives and allow God to grow us through them.
It is hard for me to see right now how God will use my reality for His purpose, but I need to sit back and let God work. I need to trust and believe that God will do what He says He will do. I have no reason to doubt Him. He has been abundantly faithful over the last year, blessing me and sustaining me with this grace and love and strength!
I can tell you that I consider my reality a difficult season in my life. Am I letting it shape me and mold me? Am I waiting and learning? Will I settle for bearable or will I press on and find the beauty that God has just around the corner?
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7 comments:
Oh Kristin, this has been my prayer for you! I'm so excited that God hears us!
He really does have an amazing plan for you, even in your reality, whether it's what you want or not. He desires to use this season in your life to grow you in so many ways. Also to grow His Kingdom! You have so much to give to others that you don't even know about. Imagine what God can do with your testimony!! Just the thought of how He wants to use you and your reality excites me.
You have blessed me with your honesty and strength. I know you don't always feel strong, but you are. I've had so many people say that to me with all that I've gone through, but so many times I feel so weak. Soak up the strength of the Lord ... He is your strength.
The Creator of the Universe cares for your heart. He cares that you are in this reality. I'm so encouraged with what he showed you today!! He is good!
Hugs and prayers to you my sister
That's what I needed to hear also. Thanks for the great post!
Praying for beauty! and that it may come quickly! I love you! Keep drawing near to God and experiencing Him draw near to you (Ja 4:8)
God meant for you to be a wife and mother. I believe you will find that love & partnership you had with your husband. You may feel its "too early" but be open...You know intellectually that your husband is no longer ith you, but your heart wishes he would walk through the door right now. You have much love & life to share, your children have much life & love to share. God will bring someone into your life to give you comfort. It happened to me. My husband came into my life, not to replace my first love who passed away but to enhance and normalize the life we needed. My children love him but know that daddy is in heaven and their take is that daddy picked their new daddy for them/us. Peace & love to you.
Kimberly
Hey!
I just wanted to stop by and introduce myself..Im Kellee and my husband has CF..I found your blog through one of my followers and wanted to say hi!
=D
Kristin,
I have learned immense amounts about walking with God from Beth Moore. In case you weren't aware, Living Proof Ministries has a blog to which Beth posts almost daily. Here's the link for you: http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/
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