Grief is no longer something that colors every moment of every day for me.
I find joy and contentment in my daily life with Lily and Wyatt. We laugh together and play together; we battle "3" together.
I know that I am blessed!
But, there are still those moments when the loss of Ryan seems almost too much to bear.
When I think about the fact that Lily can't be "Daddy's Little Girl" (I know she would have Ryan wrapped around her little finger!).
When I think about the fact that Wyatt doesn't have his Daddy around to teach him "guy" things that Mommy has no idea about.
When I read about the importance of a dad on the life of his children and the lasting impact that it has on their future.
And after 15 months without Ryan, it is still hurts sometimes to sit down and eat dinner at the table with just the kids and I.
Those are the times when my heart breaks again...
4 comments:
Kristin,
I love reading your blog..I love that I can relate to the things you are going through and feeling. Even though our losses were different they are very much the same in many ways - we are two mommy's working very hard to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts - trying to survive and yet still trying to give our children the best life possible. This is a pretty heavy load, thankfully we have a perfect Father to turn to. He see's the tears, the anger, the fear, the frustration, the worry and everything in between - He carries us on the days when it feels like we can't walk another step - He cheers us on when we find joy in the simple things of this life and best of all..He knows us by name and we will be with Him when our work here is done! Beyond thankful that we will be with our precious loved ones again and I look forward to meeting your precious, beloved husband when that time comes. Through your posts I feel as though I already know Ryan :0)
Praying for you today - and every day.
God bless you hun.
Love and hugs,
Kelly
all i know what to say is...i'm praying
I am praying for you my friend...my heart hurts with you. I am comforted by the fact that God knows so much more than we do and still has you firmly in His grasp...You are such a wonderful mommy Kristin!!
Oh Kristen, how I wish I could take away all of your grief. I have said it before and I'll say it again - Ryan would be so proud of you - WE all are. God will make you suffficient for those sweet kiddos. We love you!
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