I love that video, I could watch it a thousand times and laugh every time I see it like it was the first time! Oh, how much you miss Ryan! Kristin I am so sorry!! I wish I could take some of the hurt away. I pray God will ease the hurt and help you find joy in each day! I love you!!!
I am friends with Jessica and Tami, and I wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your kids through this time. This will be a sweet time for you and your Saviour. Fall in His embrace, and rest in His love. I lost my dad ten years ago to cancer, and to watch my mom grow so close to the Lord was an amazing outcome of it all. He is the Lord of all things, and He is good! Love, Beth Bowman
We are the Bennett family, close friends of the Sweeneys when our son Rob (Robby) and Ryan were very close buddies as probably 3-9 year olds. Our younger son Russ (Rusty then) and Nicholas were buddies, and everyone loved and looked out for Amanda. Laurel and I talked on the phone almost every day, and when either couple needed to get away for a weekend, we would trust our children to the other household. Although we have had little contact for years, those were very special years and very special friendships. When my husband found Ryan’s obituary, I was surprised at how deeply I was hit by the loss and shock was for the sweet little friend of our son, but also for all the rest of you Sweeneys. We always said that God squeezed in more things into Ryan’s life than most boys would do in a longer lifetime, whether meeting famous baseball players at Children’s Memorial, or throwing the first pitch at a Cub’s game, or going to hang out with a real ranger on a Make-A-Wish vacation extravaganza to the Black Hills. And as we heard that he had married you, a sweet, loyal, loving wife and had been given twins, a boy AND a girl no less, we rejoiced as we saw that God was still actively pouring out blessings on Ryan, even in the midst of great challenges and grief.
Our memories go back to myriads of things we did together, and memories rush in even in unexpected situations. I was no expert as giving BD treatment, but Laurel taught me how to do it well enough that Ryan could get treated when he was overnight at our home. Whenever I finish grinding my grain and I need to make sure that all loose grain berries are out of the system, I use a cupped hand like I learned for BD and think of Ryan. When I think of a family that intentionally soaked in the joy and adventure of every day, I think of Sweeneys. When I think of loyal parents who were determined to always have at least one person there with Ryan at Children’s Memorial, I think of Laurel and Steve. They did remarkable shifts to make it happen. One time, when the whole family had, I think, stomach flu, I got the privilege of sitting in for one of them and got a huge education in being on guard for one small, precious little boy in a teaching hospital. My feeling for the parents of children there is forever changed because of him. When I think of puppets and children’s plays, I think of our crew. We had some remarkable plays, very original, very creative, and worthy of lots of laughs and lauds.
But, one memory stands out as a wonderful boyhood adventure. Ryan and Robby loved to be rangers for one period, and wanted to sleep outside in a pup tent. There was only room for Ryan and Robby so the other two younger boys slept in our family tent with our Dad nearby. I assured little Amanda that inside was a great place for ladies, especially with my back problems, so we made our own adventure of sleeping together on our couch, squeezed, but happy. We had all been asleep for a couple of hours and either Ryan or Robby woke the other boy to come inside for the bathroom. They loved the mystery of the night air and the moon, as well as their much-treasured flashlights. As they were coming quietly into the back door, brave rangers that they were, we all heard terrific screams. Jumping up to see what the problem was, we found two young boys, positive that a fox had just invaded our back yard. Their eyes were bright with excitement and adventure. “Might it have been something else?” No, they were sure that since both of them saw the animal, that it must be true. After all, rangers were just the right people to see foxes. It is their job to guard the public from dangerous animals prowling around at night. We discussed the possible alternatives, but both boys were so proud they had spotted a wild night creature, that they certainly did not want to think it could be anything else. After much excitement they went back to their tent, anxiously on guard for the next invasion of any dangerous night creatures until sleep finally came. In the morning, we cooked breakfast outside on “Buddy burners,” a huge tin can, turned upside down with a heat source underneath it. Sometime during this procedure the neighbor’s cat walked nearby. Ryan and Robby looked at each other, neither wanting to believe that this could possibly be their night –time “fox.” Wanting to be honest, but very disappointed to have to admit that they had been duped by a cat, they finally admitted that they were afraid that was the same shape as their fox. We still chuckle when we hear “fox stories.” And, whether or not it was only a cat on a nighttime prowl, it gave two sweet young boys a wonderful camping adventure!
Kristen, although we have lost contact over the older years, we still have a deep sense of loss at hearing of Ryan’s homegoing. We always knew that his lungs were getting worse faster than some; we grieved in knowing that God had asked him and his family to carry the burden of CF, and yet never saw any braver ones carry it, always trying to give glory and honor to God in the midst of the challenges. I suspect that you have heard this story, but perhaps your sweet babies need it written down to hear later. When Laurel knew she was expecting Amanda, she of course was concerned that the coming baby would also have CF. We prayed lots during Laurel’s pregnancy and waited with the Sweeneys to see what God had chosen for them. The boys were at our house for the day when Laurel took one-month-old (?) Amanda in for the telling “sweat test” to see if she in fact had the disease. A short time later we were at a baby shower for Laurel and Amanda. The results had come back negative. Of course we were all relieved, but at the shower, some lady told Laurel how good God was to not let Amanda have CF. Laurel was kind, but firm and spoke with a depth of feeling that only a mom in that situation could speak. “God was good to give me Amanda without CF. But God was also good to give me Ryan with CF.” The ladies were all stunned as the depth of the truth sunk in. Laurel’s faith was deep and profound and was not wavering when it mattered. She noted that God had drawn her back to Himself because of Ryan’s challenges. Looking on as friends, we saw God deepen her faith and make her a woman of strength and courage even when a disease battered against her precious son and family. God showed her doctor what an incredible resource she was as a comfort and counsel to other CF parents that could think of nothing but hopeless despair. Reading your blog makes me see that God gave Ryan a unique, really remarkable mother, but that he had a unique, remarkable wife, too… and both of you have a unique, remarkable, truly awesome God who has walked through all of this with you.
We wish you God’s best blessings as you seek His face daily and count on Him to help you through every issue, every pain, and every indecision. It is clear that Wyatt and Lily will hear from you all about Ryan and his love for all of you, as well as God’s special plans for them. May you find comfort and counsel and courage that only God can give. Russ and Naomi Bennett
I don't know you or your sweet children. Found you through Nate's blog.
I am so sad to hear of your loss. My husband too was/is a sick guy. He went into cardiac arrest when our daughter was 6 days old. We are living a day at a time. He is only 27...doesn't have CF...just heart problems. I am so sad for you and your beautiful children.
kristin, i just found you via nate & tricia lawrenson's blog, and couldn't leave your site without leaving you a hug and promises of prayers for you and your precious children as you navigate the loss of your husband/daddy. i am so, so sorry. lauren
6 comments:
I love that video, I could watch it a thousand times and laugh every time I see it like it was the first time! Oh, how much you miss Ryan! Kristin I am so sorry!! I wish I could take some of the hurt away. I pray God will ease the hurt and help you find joy in each day! I love you!!!
Ryan always had the most contagious laugh!
I am friends with Jessica and Tami, and I wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your kids through this time. This will be a sweet time for you and your Saviour. Fall in His embrace, and rest in His love. I lost my dad ten years ago to cancer, and to watch my mom grow so close to the Lord was an amazing outcome of it all.
He is the Lord of all things, and He is good!
Love, Beth Bowman
June 17, 2008
Dear Kristen,
We are the Bennett family, close friends of the Sweeneys when our son Rob (Robby) and Ryan were very close buddies as probably 3-9 year olds. Our younger son Russ (Rusty then) and Nicholas were buddies, and everyone loved and looked out for Amanda. Laurel and I talked on the phone almost every day, and when either couple needed to get away for a weekend, we would trust our children to the other household. Although we have had little contact for years, those were very special years and very special friendships. When my husband found Ryan’s obituary, I was surprised at how deeply I was hit by the loss and shock was for the sweet little friend of our son, but also for all the rest of you Sweeneys. We always said that God squeezed in more things into Ryan’s life than most boys would do in a longer lifetime, whether meeting famous baseball players at Children’s Memorial, or throwing the first pitch at a Cub’s game, or going to hang out with a real ranger on a Make-A-Wish vacation extravaganza to the Black Hills. And as we heard that he had married you, a sweet, loyal, loving wife and had been given twins, a boy AND a girl no less, we rejoiced as we saw that God was still actively pouring out blessings on Ryan, even in the midst of great challenges and grief.
Our memories go back to myriads of things we did together, and memories rush in even in unexpected situations. I was no expert as giving BD treatment, but Laurel taught me how to do it well enough that Ryan could get treated when he was overnight at our home. Whenever I finish grinding my grain and I need to make sure that all loose grain berries are out of the system, I use a cupped hand like I learned for BD and think of Ryan.
When I think of a family that intentionally soaked in the joy and adventure of every day, I think of Sweeneys. When I think of loyal parents who were determined to always have at least one person there with Ryan at Children’s Memorial, I think of Laurel and Steve. They did remarkable shifts to make it happen. One time, when the whole family had, I think, stomach flu, I got the privilege of sitting in for one of them and got a huge education in being on guard for one small, precious little boy in a teaching hospital. My feeling for the parents of children there is forever changed because of him. When I think of puppets and children’s plays, I think of our crew. We had some remarkable plays, very original, very creative, and worthy of lots of laughs and lauds.
But, one memory stands out as a wonderful boyhood adventure. Ryan and Robby loved to be rangers for one period, and wanted to sleep outside in a pup tent. There was only room for Ryan and Robby so the other two younger boys slept in our family tent with our Dad nearby. I assured little Amanda that inside was a great place for ladies, especially with my back problems, so we made our own adventure of sleeping together on our couch, squeezed, but happy. We had all been asleep for a couple of hours and either Ryan or Robby woke the other boy to come inside for the bathroom. They loved the mystery of the night air and the moon, as well as their much-treasured flashlights. As they were coming quietly into the back door, brave rangers that they were, we all heard terrific screams. Jumping up to see what the problem was, we found two young boys, positive that a fox had just invaded our back yard. Their eyes were bright with excitement and adventure. “Might it have been something else?” No, they were sure that since both of them saw the animal, that it must be true. After all, rangers were just the right people to see foxes. It is their job to guard the public from dangerous animals prowling around at night. We discussed the possible alternatives, but both boys were so proud they had spotted a wild night creature, that they certainly did not want to think it could be anything else. After much excitement they went back to their tent, anxiously on guard for the next invasion of any dangerous night creatures until sleep finally came. In the morning, we cooked breakfast outside on “Buddy burners,” a huge tin can, turned upside down with a heat source underneath it. Sometime during this procedure the neighbor’s cat walked nearby. Ryan and Robby looked at each other, neither wanting to believe that this could possibly be their night –time “fox.” Wanting to be honest, but very disappointed to have to admit that they had been duped by a cat, they finally admitted that they were afraid that was the same shape as their fox. We still chuckle when we hear “fox stories.” And, whether or not it was only a cat on a nighttime prowl, it gave two sweet young boys a wonderful camping adventure!
Kristen, although we have lost contact over the older years, we still have a deep sense of loss at hearing of Ryan’s homegoing. We always knew that his lungs were getting worse faster than some; we grieved in knowing that God had asked him and his family to carry the burden of CF, and yet never saw any braver ones carry it, always trying to give glory and honor to God in the midst of the challenges. I suspect that you have heard this story, but perhaps your sweet babies need it written down to hear later. When Laurel knew she was expecting Amanda, she of course was concerned that the coming baby would also have CF. We prayed lots during Laurel’s pregnancy and waited with the Sweeneys to see what God had chosen for them. The boys were at our house for the day when Laurel took one-month-old (?) Amanda in for the telling “sweat test” to see if she in fact had the disease. A short time later we were at a baby shower for Laurel and Amanda. The results had come back negative. Of course we were all relieved, but at the shower, some lady told Laurel how good God was to not let Amanda have CF. Laurel was kind, but firm and spoke with a depth of feeling that only a mom in that situation could speak. “God was good to give me Amanda without CF. But God was also good to give me Ryan with CF.” The ladies were all stunned as the depth of the truth sunk in. Laurel’s faith was deep and profound and was not wavering when it mattered. She noted that God had drawn her back to Himself because of Ryan’s challenges. Looking on as friends, we saw God deepen her faith and make her a woman of strength and courage even when a disease battered against her precious son and family. God showed her doctor what an incredible resource she was as a comfort and counsel to other CF parents that could think of nothing but hopeless despair. Reading your blog makes me see that God gave Ryan a unique, really remarkable mother, but that he had a unique, remarkable wife, too… and both of you have a unique, remarkable, truly awesome God who has walked through all of this with you.
We wish you God’s best blessings as you seek His face daily and count on Him to help you through every issue, every pain, and every indecision. It is clear that Wyatt and Lily will hear from you all about Ryan and his love for all of you, as well as God’s special plans for them. May you find comfort and counsel and courage that only God can give.
Russ and Naomi Bennett
Hi,
I don't know you or your sweet children. Found you through Nate's blog.
I am so sad to hear of your loss. My husband too was/is a sick guy. He went into cardiac arrest when our daughter was 6 days old. We are living a day at a time. He is only 27...doesn't have CF...just heart problems. I am so sad for you and your beautiful children.
I will be praying for you!
Alison in TN
kristin, i just found you via nate & tricia lawrenson's blog, and couldn't leave your site without leaving you a hug and promises of prayers for you and your precious children as you navigate the loss of your husband/daddy. i am so, so sorry. lauren
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