Friday, June 27, 2008

Missing Ryan

It has been 3 weeks today since Ryan died. It is interesting to me the different things that cause me to miss him....
  • grilling out -- he was the "grill master" in the house
  • bedtime for Lily and Wyatt
  • dinner time
  • the t.v. show "Duel" (he like it; I hated it)
  • thunderstorms
  • crabby kids
  • making the coffee for the morning
  • insurance frustrations
  • not being able to call him up and tell him something small and stupid

I have also been missing him a lot as I think about the upcoming week. Next week Saturday will be/would have been our 5 year anniversary. It also follows a holiday that Ryan loved, 4th of July (all but one year of our marriage Ryan was in the hospital).

I am not looking forward to this whole year of firsts, but it just seems like a lot of the really hard ones are coming at the beginning. I am not sure if any of them will be easy...Christmas, birthdays...ughh. I will continue to rely on God as my only source of comfort and strength. I will continue to enjoy Lily and Wyatt as both a great distraction and a great reminder of Ryan.

3 comments:

Stefanie Schocke said...

Those kids are such a beautiful reminder of Ryan. :) I'm sure the firsts are so difficult, continue to put your hope in Him!

I like the picture on the top...I've been trying (more like failing) to change my blog for the past few days. I may "steal" your idea.

Valerie said...

Rest in Him today! Hold on to those memories and think of them often! I love you!

Violet said...

hugs. i hope the insurance goes well, sending good thoughts to you.

Not the same thing but, my mother in law passed away and my husband it having a very hard with all those "firsts". I'll be thinking of you.

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