Some Firsts

We have had a few more firsts in the past few days; some were actual firsts and some were firsts without Ryan.

• I bought a bike (for me) and a bike trailer (for Lily and Wyatt) so that we can get out and enjoy the beautiful spring weather together (as well as show the kids that exercise is important). It is a lot of work pulling the extra 50+ pounds around, but the kids giggle and laugh the whole time; most of the time they tell me to keep going and not to go home! This morning when I said that we were going home, they asked, "Why, Mommy?" To which I replied, "Mommy is tired." Wyatt then told me, "You can go in and take a nap. We will just chill in here." Tonight we used the bike and trailer to go to a local ice cream shop -- YUM!

• I grilled hamburgers for dinner tonight. It is the first time I have used the grill all year, and only the second time I have used it since Ryan died. When we were first married, Ryan did all the grilling. He was FABULOUS! As time went on, I had to take over the grilling, but he was in charge of the timing as well as keeping Lily and Wyatt distracted so I could get the food ready. I have been hesitant to grill on my own because I didn't know how I would keep the kids distracted or how I would do with the whole timing of things. It also made me sad just to think about grilling without Ryan. I did it. The burgers were okay and we made it through another first (even if it was a "small" one)...and we had our first picnic outside at our picnic table.

• We brought flowers to Daddy's Place for the first time this spring. The kids continue to love to go there, although they thought we were actually bringing flowers to Daddy at first. They said, "In heaven?" Then we had to get in the whole discussion of bringing flowers to Daddy's Place -- where we go to remember Daddy.