an emotional week

It is going to be an emotional week, it already has been an emotional week.

On Monday, my sister, April's, father-in-law passed away. While it was not completely unexpected, it seemed to be sudden. Jim was a godly man; he is in heaven rejoicing now, free from the pain of this world. I asked Casey yesterday if she thought Grandpa Jim was in heaven telling Uncle Ryan all about how we were doing and all about Jessie (who was born after Ryan died), she got a big grin on her face and said "yup". Please be in prayer for April, Steve, Jack, Casey, Charlie, Jessie, and all of Steve's family as they are grieving the loss of a dad, husband, and grandpa.

For me, all the emotions come flooding back as I stop to think about his wife and all that she is facing. The ache and loneliness of living life alone. The nights lying in bed and not hearing the steady breath of her husband sleeping next to her. The lack of companionship at dinner each night. My heart is so broken for her! I know that it will be hard to be at the visitation and funeral later this week. It just brings back so many memories! My heart hurts for those who loved him most.

Ryan's birthday is also coming. The anticipation of Disney has helped to process through some of the sadness, but as March 2nd moves closer, my heart aches to celebrate Ryan's 29th birthday with him. I am sure that he would LOVE teasing me about the fact that I am in my 30's and he is still in his 20's.

An update on the kids (by request):

• Both kids seem to be feeling much better. The coughs and runny noses are pretty much gone -- yay!
• They have both given up naps for the most part, although they still get rest time each day to help restore my strength (and sanity) to make it through until bedtime.
• They are super excited about Disney. They will dance around the house singing "we're going to Disney!" and they tell everyone (including strangers) that we are leaving in a couple weeks.
• I realized yesterday how big they are getting when I was watching my niece, Jessie. She was standing on the floor looking up and me and she was so far away! I can't believe how tall the kids are getting -- especially Wyatt. He is starting to need 5T pants for the length!
• They continue to love going to AWANA Cubbies and learning their bible memory verses.

I will try to get some pictures up later this week, I don't think I have taken any in over a month! Thanks for your prayers for my sister's family and for me as we journey through this emotional week.

what's going on

So many things are going on right now, I just never take the time to sit down and blog anymore. Most of my spare time was being wasted on Facebook, so I have decided to give it up for Lent (if you are reading this on FB it is because my blog is automatically uploaded there). It was distracting me from much more important things in my life. I decided that I needed to stop wasting my time and refocus on the areas of my life God wants me to be working on -- mainly my relationship with Him and my relationships with Lily and Wyatt.

Winter has been difficult for me both mentally and emotionally. I have been stuck in a pit of sadness, loneliness, and self-pity. I need a change of pace! I have been looking for an opportunity to get away, to find some sunshine, and to create some new memories with Lily and Wyatt. So, we are getting ready for another vacation to Disney in just a couple of weeks. Our friend (and awesome babysitter), Erin, will be joining us because there was no way I was going to tackle flying and vacationing at Disney World with two three year olds by myself! We will spend three full days in the parks and I am super excited to be able to do even more with the kids than we did last year.

I am also really excited about the opportunity to raise awareness and funds for Cystic Fibrosis through Great Strides. I have officially restarted the "Sweeney Striders" team for this year's walk in Grand Rapids. I have been overwhelmed by the amount of support that I have already received from people joining me in the walk and from the donations given (if you are interested in joining me on the walk or in sponsoring me click here). I have plans in the works (well, just in my head right now) for t-shirts for the Sweeney Striders that will set us apart from other teams as well as honor Ryan's life!

Lily and Wyatt are doing fairly well, other than the colds, coughs, and fevers (Lily) they have been fighting. It is so hard to believe that in a few weeks they will be turning 4! I am ready to be done with "3" and all of its challenges, but I am not ready for them to be heading to school. If only there was a slow motion button on life!

And lastly, here is a video of one of my favorite songs right now, "Unredeemed" by Selah. I love the message that it sends, a message of hope in the promises God has made to redeem the things of this world that hurt so much. It is a great reminder to me that God sees and knows the pain in my heart, especially as Ryan's birthday approaches.

faith like a child

I wanted to share some sweet things Lily has said lately...mainly because I want to write them down and never forget what childlike faith is. What a blessing my children are to me!

• Lily got out her notebook and pencil the other day and climbed onto the bar stool. She told me she needed to write her worship songs. Then she put her pencil down and sang. It may not have made sense to me, but I am sure God was blessed by her worship -- I was. (Wyatt did join in on writing worship songs the next day.)
• Last night as we were heading to bed after baths, bible story, and prayers, Lily says, "Just a few more days til heaven, right?" I wish, my sweet girl, I wish.
• Her bedtime prayers have taken on much more flavor recently. She will often come up with the funniest things to thank God for, but I know it is just her faith shining through. Here are some examples: Thank you God for all the animals, like the fish under the sea. Thank you for all the things you let us to do today, one-by-one. Thank you for all the people in the whole wide world. Thank you for everything that you created for us.

My children are such a bright spot in my life. I love to see them learning about Jesus and to see their faith grow! It melts this mommy's heart!