2009 ~ Year in Review

It is hard to believe that today is the last day of 2009. I remember thinking on New Year's Day that it was going to be a long year. I remember crying as I thought of starting a new year without Ryan. I was dreading what was ahead and dreading the fact that I was going to be facing in "alone." God has more than blessed me as I look back over all that we have done in this year.

Here are a few highlights from each month of 2009:

• January was a month filled with two big blessings! My niece, Jessie Marie, was born and I bought our house! :)
• February was a busy month as the new house was painted and "remodeled." We moved in on the 21st -- I still LOVE it!
• In March, we celebrated Ryan's birthday. It was a difficult day, but so good to remember too! The weather started getting warmer and we were able to start enjoying our big backyard.
• Lily and Wyatt turned 3 in April!
• The highlight of May would have to be our trip to Disney World. It was a quick trip, but so much fun!
• June marked the one year anniversary of Ryan's death. We were loved and supported, it was a weekend of celebration for the life Ryan lived! We also took a trip to Illinois to spend time with family and friends. Lily and Wyatt were potty trained too!
• July was a relaxing month. We enjoyed the cooler temperatures that this summer held. We also made a day trip to Chicago for Grandma-Great's birthday. Lily and Wyatt rode a real pony for the first time at the church picnic.
• In August we spent some time at the beach with friends and attended different activities at church.
• September started with a trip to Binder Park Zoo on Labor Day -- what a fun place, we will definitely go again! Lily and Wyatt started attending Cubbies at church. The outside of the house received a face lift with new windows, siding, and garage door.
• October was a fun month for me! I was able to be a part of my friend, Val's, wedding day. The kids enjoyed time with Nana and Papa while Mommy was away. They also enjoyed dressing up for Halloween.
• The highlight of November was Thanksgiving.
• December has been a blur with holiday gatherings and visits from good friends. I celebrated my birthday. And we all celebrated the birth of our Savior!

We have been blessed. We have a wonderful home and we are all healthy! We are loved and supported by our family and friends. There are still difficult days (the second year of grief really is more difficult), but God continues to sustain me with His love and strength!

Happy New Year! May God bless you richly in 2010!

A New Year

2009

It is New Year's Day and I am filled with uncertainty. One year ago, I had no idea that this is what my life would look like today. I look back at 2008 and I see blessings and great sadness mixed together. I see the worst year of my life, but I also see God's faithfulness -- without Him, I would not be in the place I am today.

I miss Ryan tremendously as I look to begin a new year. I miss the dreams that we had together. I miss what might have been. I wish that he was here with me to help me make some of the big decisions I will be facing in this year. I wish that he was here to see the meet another niece or nephew in a few weeks; to celebrate his 28th birthday; to see Lily and Wyatt turn 3; to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary; to see his sister get married.

I know that God will continue to be faithful throughout this year. I know that He will walk beside me as I make decisions, celebrate new blessings, and face new trials. I am thankful for a God who loves me and who has not left me yet.

A New Year Survey

1. What did you do in 2008 that you had never done before? Many things...
2. Did you keep your previous New Year's resolutions, and will you make new ones for next year? Yes, I kept my resolution from last year; I am resolve to persevere.
3. Did anyone you know give birth? Yes
4. Did anyone close to you die? YES!
5. What countries did you visit? None
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A new house.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 6, 2008...Ryan's heaven day.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving.
9. Did you suffer from illness or injury? Yes, just not my own...
10. What was the best thing you bought? My new car!
11. Did your behavior change over the year? Yes, and I think for the better
12. Where did most of your money go? Lily and Wyatt
13. What did you get really excited about? ...

Compared to this time last year, are you:
1. Richer or poorer? Richer
2. Did you fall in love? No
3. What was your favorite TV program? Biggest Loser
4. What was the best book you read? ...
5. What was your favorite film of the year? I did not watch any movies for the first time this year.
6. Thinner or fatter? Thinner - woohoo!
7. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to Chicago with friends, went to lunch with friends, and went to dinner with the kids and my parents...30.
8. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Lily and Wyatt
9. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Jeans, hoodies, sweaters.
10. What kept you sane? God's faithfulness.
11. What political issue stirred you the most? The presidential election.
12. Who was the best new person you met? I have met too many wonderful people this year to pick just one: U of M staff and GriefShare friends top the list.
13. What is a valuable lesson you learned in 2008? Life is too short!