Struggles and God's Provision

The past week has been filled with many, many different struggles. All of them seemed really big at the time, all of them made me feel extremely alone. But God has amazingly provided through all of them!

At the end of last week, and even the beginning of this week, Lily was throwing some major temper tantrums all day long! Those of you who have toddlers or who have had toddlers can relate, I am sure. Anything I asked her to do she said "NO!" Any time I asked her to obey, she did the opposite. She was screaming, crying, etc. I was getting very discouraged. It was getting harder and harder to be consistent, it was a challenge to remain patient, and I began to feel sorry for myself. I was missing Ryan and the help he would have brought (at least after 5:30).

Thankfully, God has placed a very special person in our lives who Lily and Wyatt ADORE! Erin was willing to come over and just hang out. She distracted Lily from her attitude, and didn't bat an eye when things began to go down hill. Erin is such a blessing in our lives, I really have no idea what I would do without her!

Tuesday, I wanted to get some work done in the yard. The leaves were getting to be overwhelming and I thought if I could at least get the front yard done it would be some progress. I went to start the leaf blower (which was only a week old) and I could not get it started for the life of me. I started bawling my eyes out, while Lily and Wyatt looked on. (Wyatt kept saying, "Mommy, it's really sad that you couldn't get that to work. " Cute, but so not helpful at the time!) I hated the fact that I could not get a simple tool to work so that I could take care of my own house.

I called Kevin, one of our pastors, and he was able to come over and try to help me. I felt better with the fact that he couldn't get it to work either! :) But I was grateful for his willingness to help me yet again and he even took it with him and figured out what the problem was! He has helped me with different things around the house many, many times and I am so grateful to God for his willingness!

Yesterday (Wednesday), I decided that since I could get the blower to work now, I would head out to the back yard and move some leaves around to make things easier for someone from our church who was going to be coming over to mow the leaves up later in the afternoon. Things were going well, until I slipped and fell down a couple of stairs and sprained my ankle. I hobbled inside and called a friend. She was concerned because she knows that I am a single mom and that I am very independent. As we were talking and trying to figure out what to do (she was 45 min. away), I was crying my eyes out again! Why? Why does it have to be so hard? Why do I have to be all alone when these things are happening?

Thankfully, God provided again! My neighbors had seen me fall and they asked Aaron, the guy from church who came to mow if I was okay. He didn't even know I was hurt, so he came to check. I was on the phone with another friend from church who told me that Aaron has medical training from his work in the army. Aaron, came in and worked on my foot, while two more friends from church came over and helped with the kids, got medicine from upstairs, brought dinner, took the kids to AWANA, etc. I do not enjoy having a sprained ankle or relying on the help of others, but God came through last night in HUGE ways!

I am not sure what this week of difficulties is for. It may be an attack from Satan for sharing my testimony in church on Sunday night. It may be a reminder to me that God does not want me relying on myself so much. It may be just another way for God to show himself faithful. What ever the reason, I am so thankful for the way God has blessed me with wonderful people to help me out!

looking in the mirror

I love Lily and Wyatt.
They are at a really fun age right now.
They make me smile.
They make me laugh.

Today we went outside.
I painted.
They played.
They reminded me how much their little eyes take in.

They went to McDonald's.
They went to the post office.
They baked a cake.

Interesting choices...

Wyatt got frustrated.
He showed me how much he takes notice of my actions.
Sometimes "looking in the mirror" is a good reminder that little eyes are watching.

Wyatt and Lily

• Wyatt and Lily are 3 years, 4 months, and 15 days old today (yes, I know it is weird that I figured that out).
• Their favorite activity: PUZZLES! We spend HOURS each day doing puzzles. The have graduated from the wooden "piece" puzzles to actual interlocking puzzles, both wooden and cardboard.
• Wyatt's favorite word: WEIRD. He says that anyone and everything is weird. Then both he and Lily laugh...cute, but getting old! :)
• Lily's favorite thing to wear: CINDERELLA DRESS. She was given this dress by a friend a few weeks ago. She asks to wear it almost every day and yesterday it was on almost the entire day.
• Their favorite movie: ALADDIN. This is not my favorite Disney movie, although I used to love it. Watching it from a "mom perspective" makes me see a few things that I don't necessarily like.
• When they pray for a meal, they say, "Thank you, God, my food. Amen."
• When they pray before bed, they say, "Thank you God for Lily (or Boo), Mommy, Me. Amen." They also add in any of the following: the bible, the devotional (I don't even know how to type this the way they say it, but it is cute!), Jesus dying on the cross, and other family members.
• They enjoy singing. They will try to remember songs they have learned at church and sing them at home...often with new words added in. Most popular right now: MY GOD IS SO BIG! If the radio is on in the kitchen they will usually try to pick out a few words they recognize (Jesus or holy being their favorites) and sing along!
• Wyatt always has to know what we are doing then next day when he goes to bed at night, if I don't tell him he cries and freaks out just a little! [I am not sure where he got his need to have every thing schedule from! ;) ]
• This fall they will begin attending AWANA at church where they will be in the Cubbies class. I never went to AWANA as a child, but Ryan did (we still get cards from his Cubbies leader). I am very excited for them to be learn and grow in this way! I have also signed them up for the Preschool Story Time at our local library, and I am planning to be more intentional with teaching them at home this fall as well.

I cannot believe that I have two preschool age children! For the most part, this stage is fun (minus the temper tantrums, potty accidents, and fear of the dark). I love my kids and I am continually reminded of God's faithfulness by having them in my life!

Fear or Rebellion?

I am trying to determine if Wyatt is afraid of the dark or if he is just going through a rebellious phase. I am thinking it might be a combination of both. I believe that he was truly afraid last week before we got his new night light. His cries, his words, his actions all pointed towards fear.

However, with the new night light in his room (which fully lights up his room and part of mine if both our doors are open), he seems to be testing how far he can push me and my concern for his fears. He has a little whimper cry that he does as I am about to shut his door each night. At first it was both cute and kind of sad, now I am starting to think it is fake -- how do they learn these things?

This phase is going to take a lot of patience on my part, something I do not always have. I want to sympathize with his fears, but I don't want to feed into his mommy-testing game if that is what he is in fact trying to do. I will continue to ask God for discernment and patience in raising my toddlers and I will continue to ask you all for prayers as well!

Not Complete Quite Yet...

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

God has been working on me recently. He has been convicting me of a sin area in my life that I have always struggled with, the sin of having a quick temper. As you might guess, the combination of a quick temper and two 3 year olds does not go well together. I would often lose my temper and end up yelling at Lily and Wyatt as a method of "discipline". Yelling at them did nothing but make them cry and often I would end up crying as well. The look on their precious faces would pierce my heart and make me regret my anger.

I love Lily and Wyatt. If I am quickly losing my temper with my children, am I truly loving them the way that God has called me to love them? 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a describes love this way:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

In my sin I was not loving my children as God loves me; I was not reflecting the love of my heavenly Father to my children. I realized a few weeks ago that I needed to HATE my sin so that I could allow God to work in me to overcome my sin. It has since been my prayer DAILY, that God would fill me with His Spirit, allowing me to be the mom that He has created me to be; that God would allow Lily and Wyatt to feel loved by me; that I would discipline them out of love and patience and not out of anger and frustration.

I can feel God working in my heart and in our home. I am by no means a perfect mom. I still have moments when my quick temper takes over. But I must give God the glory for changing my heart; for giving me the patience and the ability to take a deep breath before dealing with a temper tantrum; for helping me become a better mom. I am confident that God, who began a good work in me, will carry it on to completion.

Potty Training

This says it all about our potty training....

Undies on the arms, we have a long way to go! :)

Family Life

I had the radio on today durning lunch with Lily and Wyatt. At noon every day there is a program on called Family Life Today (www.familylife.com). The speaker today was Ginger Plowman and she seemed to have really good, biblical ideas for parenting toddlers (and older kids too). Her specific topic today was on ineffective discipline -- wow, could I relate to some of what she was saying.

There are five topics for the week:

• Disciplining with Love
• Scolding -- An Angry Response to Misbehavior
• Dealing with Whining, Tattling and Sibling Rivalry
• Avoiding Traps of Ineffective Discipline
• No More Whining

I decided to order her Parenting Preschoolers Special Offer... hopefully it will help me be a better Mommy who loves and disciplines her children with the love of Christ.

They Grow SO Fast!

I decided that since I have currently "lost" all of the pictures on our laptop, I would make sure that I could access the older pictures from our desktop (2003-2006) by creating web albums on Picasa.

I thought that it would be fun to include a slideshow of Lily and Wyatt on the blog from birth to about 6 months (warning: there are over 400 pics). Many of you did not know our family back then so I thought you might enjoy seeing the twins so small and Mommy and Daddy looking really, really tired!



God has truly blessed my life with two wonderful little children -- they have really been great from the start. It is overwhelming to realize that I am responsible not only for their physical well being, but their spiritual well being too. I know that I should not complain, because as far as 2 year olds go Lily and Wyatt are really good kids. (I know God blessed me when he gave Lily and Wyatt the personalities that they have.) For the most part, they listen and obey and when they don't, they usually respond to discipline.

The burden of being a single mom has been on my heart over the past few days as I deal with disciplining two 2 year olds -- what is best? what will get to their hearts? I wish that Ryan was here to help me decide what is best for the kids, what each of their personalities will respond too. I am thankful for a heavenly Father to guide me as I parent. I am also thankful for the wisdom of friends and family as I face "trials" in parenting.

Nap Time Revisited

Yes, I know this is my third post of the day, but I thought you should know how nap time ended up.

The kids fell asleep very fast.
About 45 minutes into their nap, Wyatt woke up crying for Lily.
I was of no use to him so I let him cry it out.
About 75 minutes into nap time, Lily woke up crying and saying "all done."
I asked her if she wanted to sleep in her bed and she said yes.
I told her to be quiet because Wyatt was sleeping.
(I know, I know, what was I thinking?)
She stayed quiet -- until I laid her in bed.
She then started SCREAMING.
She woke Wyatt up.
He then started SCREAMING.
With two screaming toddlers I decided to walk out of the room and close the door.
Crying stopped after about 5 minutes.
Napping lasted for over 2 1/2 hours total.
YIPPEE!

Nap Time

There are many great things about having twins: built in playmates, constant entertainment, and abundant blessings. Nap time is not one of those blessings, at least not at our house. Nap time stresses me out because Lily and Wyatt feed off each other and will laugh, giggle, scream, jump, and bang on walls for an hour or more sometimes. They don't usually cry, but they definitely don't fall asleep right away either. (I also found out two days ago that my neighbor can hear them and her little boy naps in the room on the other side of the wall.)


Today I decided to try separating them for nap time. Wyatt is in his crib and Lily is in the pack and play in my room. Lily was very excited about sleeping in her "bed" and willingly climbed the stairs to my room. Wyatt was excited for bed too, until he realized it would not be with Lily. I put her down first and then went to the kids' room to adjust the blinds and curtains. Wyatt headed back to my door and cried for his Lily. As I put him in his bed he was crying for Lily and screaming "no, Lily, no!" They both cried for the first few minutes; Wyatt calling for Lily and Lily calling for Boo. But now, all is QUIET and they have only been upstairs for about 15 minutes -- YEAH!!!!!!!!!

I am so thankful that they love each other -- what more can a mom ask for?

Picking Up Toys

For those of you who know me well, you know that I am a little obsessive about having the house picked up. From early on I have tried to teach the kids to pick up their toys. Up until they were about 18 months old we would let them get out whatever they wanted and then we would try and do a major clean-up of toys before bed. This method did not work for us. It was a constant battle to get them to pick up toys and the kids and I would end up frustrated while Ryan was left to calm us down. :) Since the time of meltdowns, we have been teaching the kids to put one toy away before getting out another. This has always had to be done with prompting, but there is much less frustration involved.

Today was a milestone of picking up toys in our house. Lily and Wyatt were reading books and playing with tractors. Wyatt decided that playing with his tool box would be more fun so he went and got it out of the toy room. He held it up to me and I said, "Sure, you can play with that." I didn't say anything about the other toys because Lily was still playing with those. The next thing I know, Wyatt is stacking all the library books on the bench in the living room and putting his tractors in the toy bin. All by himself! No prompting! It made this obsessive Mommy proud! (And his sister didn't care because she was trying to get in on playing with the tool box.)

The Artful Parent

I am really excited right now. I don't know if many of you look at the different links that you can get to through my site, but if you are a mom (or dad) of a toddler, I recommend that you look at The Artful Parent link. It is in my Stuff for Parents section. It has a list of top toddler art supplies, but some of her other posts are rather intriguing. I am interested in trying the salty watercolors with Lily and Wyatt, but that will definitely need to be on a day where I have a lot of patience. I am not artistic by any stretch of the imagination, but I would love for Lily and Wyatt to have a creative side!

HELP!!!

Okay, I need the advice and wisdom of other moms (or dads). Lily has been waking up about 45 minutes into her nap for WEEKS! She wakes up screaming and most days I cannot get her to go back to sleep. She acts tired and yawns as she cries, but she just won't sleep. I have tried changing nap time. I have tried changing the time that she eats lunch. I have tried letting her cry it out (with Wyatt in the room). I have tried rocking her back to sleep. Nothing seems to work and I am frustrated. I am frustrated for Lily because I know that she needs more sleep (although she is usually happy even when tired). I am frustrated for myself because I cherish the quiet time I get during naps. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

Joy in Frustration

During a day full of frustration with my dead cell phone and getting the run around from Sprint and Sanyo, there is still great joy. Whether it is looking into the backseat and seeing Wyatt's sweet smile or hearing Lily and Wyatt "talk" together, I am still able to find a smile. There has been one really fun thing today: Lily's new hair-do. I bought her some little rubberbands and she is currently walking around with a little ponytail sticking up on top of her head. Her cousin Jack described it as looking like a stick, but I still think that it is cute.

I also bought Lily and Wyatt at "time-out" chair today. It is currently sitting on the floor in the dining room and they both think that it is great fun to go and sit in it. I wonder how they will feel about it in the next few weeks as it because a chair of no fun.