what is missing

For the past 2+ years I have been doing life as a single mom. There is no break that comes at the end of the day when my husband walks through the door. The evenings are usually challenging because there are 2 tired kiddos + 1 tired mommy all trying to make it to bedtime.

At some point along the way I became used to this. I rarely focus on what is missing. I do our night time routine because it needs to be done. I don't have time to dwell on it and dwelling on it is really not going to change anything.

But last night was different. Last night I had a friend and her kids over for dinner. I took care of the kids (hers and mine) all day and cooked a meal. She came over after work to enjoy the meal with us before heading home with her kids for the night. There was another adult at the table. There was another adult in the house distracting the kids from the kitchen while I finished up dinner. There was another adult in the house causing them to laugh hysterically after dinner was done and the dishes were taken care of. It was like a breath of fresh air to me!

After she left with her kids and Lily and Wyatt were in bed, I was standing in the kitchen and it hit me. There is something missing. That is what God intended life to be like -- he intended for there to be a mom and a dad in a home. He intended raising children to be a partnership. He intended for husbands and wives to help one another.

I know this is not the most positive post I have written. And don't get me wrong, I am incredibly thankful that God gives me the strength to get through each day from morning til night. But in all honesty, I wish I didn't have...I wish there was nothing missing...