I am trying to figure out my grief. It is hard, I don't understand it -- there is just a deep sadness in me all of the time. Tears are always near the surface.
I started going to GriefShare earlier this week. It is a Christian based grief group. All of the people in the group are older than me (15+ yrs). Many of them have lost spouses, so it is nice to have someone relate to me in that way. At the same time, it is hard because none of them have young children. I feel like I am in a "weird" place. Please keep praying.
I recently received a card from a dear friend with the following passage in it. It comes from a devotional by Ann Spangle. It was exactly what I needed to hear, so I will share it with you -- I am sure it applies to more than just me.
"Lord, I praise You for You know the whole story. From beginning to end, You see it all. Give me the humility to admit my limitations. For I don't always see the past accurately, my vision of the present is often blurred, and I am blind when it come to the future. Help my fasten my eyes on You, trusting in Your vision for my life and in Your watchful care."
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5 comments:
Kristin, thank you for sharing this prayer...the Lord knows I needed to read it today! I'm glad you've been able to find a group who can relate to your grief and I'm certain they will learn SO much from you (I know many of us reading your blog have!). You are prayed for today my friend! Say "hi" to those adorable kiddos for me! Much love to you, Jaimee
Wow what a prayer. I needed it today. Thank you Kristin for sharing your honesty. Your love , faith and grace continue to shine through.
Kristin, that devo was for me;) Thank you so much! I love you and am praying for you!!
Hang in there with Griefshare. I attended after my husband passed away and I too was the youngest. I don't have any children so that was not an issue. God worked through those ladies and ministerd to me in a lot of ways.
God Bless,
Julie
Kristin,
You visited my blog today and left a comment about my hubby teaching math. I have been to your blog many times, found it through confessions of a cf husband. i cry like a baby everytime i come to your blog. i don't know if it is because it hits close to home, or i am just so sad for your loss of your husband. my hubby went into cardiac arrest when our maggie was 6 days old. i truly thought i was going to lose him. the burden of those thoughts are still with me everyday. i pray for you. i pray for your spirit. you have touched my life in ways that you will never know. i see you as a single mother and thank God those children have you. God bless you and your family. i know that we don't know each other at all, but if you need a place to vent or talk...i would love to be that person for you.
With Love,
alison h. in TN
alihol(at)hotmail(dot)com
theharrishome.blogspot.com
maggiemoosmom.wordpress.com
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