There is a silent enemy that often invades my days when I least expect it. It always takes me by surprise and it often brings tears and heartache. This silent enemy is loneliness.
For me, loneliness is the worst "side effect" of grief. It has stuck with me for the last 7 1/2 months while most other things have come and gone. Loneliness does not rule my days, just moments within the days.
Ironically, the times I feel most lonely are often the times that I am with other people. It hits me as I watch other couples interact with each other or when I see other dads with their children. I often choose to withdraw; to bury the hurt inside. People may think that I am being rude or that I am angry, but really I am just trying to survive the moment.
I am thankful that loneliness isn't always around, but when it is there and I wish it would go away.
5 comments:
Kristin--I love you!! Praying over you tonight!!
kristin, out of your grief comes profound and poignant words. sending you loads of hugs and prayers tonight...
Praying for you...
Oh yes...that dreaded loneliness. I have experienced many moments of it along my journey through grief...Please know that you are not alone on this journey - my heart aches for you as your heart is aching for Ryan. Praise the Lord that we WILL be with our precious loved ones again and God WILL take away this frustrating feelings from our hearts...forever and always!
God bless you Kristin -- thinking of you as you get closer and closer to your 'move in date'!!!
HUGS AND LOVE!!!
Kelly
I try to remember that we have not said goodbye, but only see you later. It is hard to be without ones we love and not have them in our every day life (I'm sure a spouse is even easier to miss) but I always tell myself that I still get eternity with my sister and you will get Ryan FOREVER some day. I really feel your pain and understanding that as much as others try to help and fill a void...we really only want the one person we cannot have right now.
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