I don't even quite know what to write today. My heart is broken. The past 24 hours have been a downward spiral. We were so hopeful for new lungs even last night. Ryan has struggled so much and fought so hard over the last 10 weeks. This morning Ryan told me that he just wants to sleep and he can't fight anymore right now.
Dr. Ojo and the team have decided that it is in Ryan's best interest to allow his body to rest. They have sedated him and that means he is currently on hold for a transplant. Their hope and our prayer is that with the sedation they will be able to make Ryan comfortable while doing aggressive treatments, with the goal of getting him back on the list. We should know in 3 or 4 days if these new treatments are working.
I was called to the hospital at 1:30 this morning because Ryan was having trouble with his oxygen saturation. They were able to get it back into the 80's and 90's, but his carbon dioxide level is just too high and causing him too much discomfort.
I must acknowledge that even in my pain I know I am so blessed and loved. Ryan and I are surrounded by family (both sets of parents and an aunt). We are also surrounded by a staff who loves us and is saddened right along with us. I was told that Dr. Ojo had to have a pep talk with the staff this morning because they were all so disappointed (rumor has it there is also someone available for the staff to talk too). I have received many hugs from these people I now proudly call our family.
We will continue to have hope in the Lord. I know that God is a God of miracles and he has given us many in the past 2 months. Please continue to lift Ryan up in prayer before the throne of God. Pray that God's will is revealed. Pray that we can feel his new mercies each morning!
13 comments:
tears are flowing down my cheeks as I process your last entry. My heart is so heavy for you and Ryan. We're praying for a miracle.
We all have tears in our eyes from this sad news. We are praying for Ryan and we know that God will answer our prayer with a miracle. We must all be strong for Ryan!
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Matt. 11: 28-29
We love you and are praying all the time! Our hearts are so heavy for you and Ryan, you have so many carrying this burden with you!
Stefanie
I don't know what to say except to echo those before me. I am tearing up, and my heart is aching with you, but I know our Lord has plans beyond any of ours. I am so glad you are blessed with family around you right now. Know that the prayers will never stop. God can provide a miracle if that is his will. I pray that Ryan will be back on the list soon and getting new lungs soon after that.
All glory to Him, our Creator and most amazing Caretaker.
Doing what I can which is to lift you up to our Heavenly Father.
I love the verse Matt 11: 28-29. And my heart is so heavy for you right now. Oh, how I plead for new lungs for Ryan and now I will pray for much needed rest and a new miracle of improved strength. I love you!! My heart hurts for you and tears flow but my eyes are fixed on God and HIS love and plan for you and Ryan. I know He will accomplish great things and I look to Him now. I pray He wraps you in His arms and hold you up. I pray He gives you renewed strength and the hope that is in Him alone.
Kristin - I am so sorry to hear the latest news. I hope you know that you and Ryan and the kids have been and are in our hearts and prayers. If there is any help we can give, just ask.-Jen
We are so sorry to hear the latest news. We are praying for you and Ryan and the kids. You have been a strong and faithful wife. I admire your courage.
We will continue to pray for a miracle.
Old friends are praying with all our might that things turn for the better. Ryan has always had amazing strength, keep fighting. You are always in our thoughts. The Danduran's (Mike, Sandy, Madison, Haley, Delaney
Dear Kristin and family--
What "pleasing grief and mournful joy" fill my heart. Just got the news about your Ryan. We praise the Lord that He brought him Home safely, but we mourn with you as you grieve. I am praying for the family during this time. May God grant you everything you need.
With love and sympathy in Christ,
Stephanie Lowery Van Gorden
(someone Ryan knew in childhood)
Ryan's story has traveled many miles, my family and friends have been praying non-stop since Jessica Troeger introduced us to your family. Our prayers have just begon for you and your family. With love and blessings from the West Coast,
The McDougall's
Laurel, Kristen and Family,
I am so sorry to hear the latest news. I cried this morning for all of you! Please know that we are all here for you, even if you just need someone to listen! We are praying for God to make you strong as a family to help you get through this! As you told Ryan, it is okay to cry, you go ahead and cry, you have been through a lot.
Kristin, I wish that I knew you better because your strength, grace, courage and faith have been so amazing through all of this. I know it will get you through the next few days and weeks and beyond. My heart is so heavy today for you and the kids and the rest of his family. Please know that Ryan touched so many of us and he will live on in our hearts forever. His was so witty and thoughtful at work; and I never met a more passionate stock man. I sat at his desk today just hoping that a little bit of him would rub off on me. I'm very sorry for your loss. Praying that Ryan's peace will be yours -
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